Your yes is your no
This past month has been full of many great memories and quality time with loved ones. It’s also been full of much deep rest, healing, and recovery from COVID-19. After 2.5 years of the pandemic, it finally hit me and hit me haaaarddd. Sickness is something that has historically been tough for me to deal with and it usually comes at a time when I’m seeing a lot of momentum. I have to repeatedly rewire to remind myself that there is an inherent power and gentle strength in knowing + practicing deep rest when so much of me has been conditioned to think that I must power through to the finish line.
As a small business owner + entrepreneur providing direct services, something I’ve been finding is that it’s very easy to stay busy. Things can quickly get overwhelming for the giver in me who wants to support everyone I can. One of the earliest breakthroughs I made after running through one burnout cycle to the next was that my “yes” is actually my “no.”
While it’s tempting to take on MORE, I have to actively challenge myself to exercise my “nos.” I’ve found that in placing energetic boundaries, I’m presented with boundless opportunities to say no to “doing” more so that I can say yes to “being” more. By saying “no” to one thing, I am also saying “yes” to prioritizing another area, ambition, and relationship in my life and I now have the space to do so.
Being down and out of commission for two weeks was a blessing in that it reminded me of a very important value of this very company to make space to rest + play. Just the other day, in scrolling through Instagram and being enticed by the ads along the way, I ended up downloading a game called Block Blast.
In Block Blast, you drag and drop blocks of different shapes and sizes to form rows and columns. The objective of the game is to clear the rows and columns through making these lines and combinations. Think Tetris in a more confined space. Rather than being constrained by time and your shape formations hitting the ceiling, you have limited space and so if your block shape does not fit in the limited space you have, it’s game over and you can start with a fresh new game.
Truth be told, I was initially pretty hard on myself for “wasting” several hours playing this game after I had just written out a long list of to-dos to be done before the end of the weekend. And then the Lord ministered this message over me to share with you too.
The Holy Spirit gave me this message for anyone feeling blocked from their blessings:
#1. Claim the overflow.
For our go-getter readers, so often, you already know the abundance you are looking for. You know exactly what your goals are and how to dream of them. How has He defined your abundance in overflow?
In Mark 11:22-25 (NIV), Jesus says
“Have faith in God…Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
Regardless of your spiritual relationship, no matter what you’re pursuing, you must think, speak, and act from a place of belief that it will manifest into reality to see any traction. You can only be blessed with what you hope for. So if you aren’t believing in it for yourself, how can He bless it and how can others even begin to know where to support you? And, how can you be trusted to do the right work (not only the hard work) to steward over that blessing? He simply will not do what you can already do for yourself.
In the words of Anais Nin, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
#2. Identify your block and nourish it.
Once your overflow has been defined, what is the block that has prevented progress, clearing, and ultimately the blessing? If you went for it or maybe didn’t go for it, what is the fear that is standing behind it?
In today’s world of access to content at your fingertips with a demand for its creation at rapid speeds, it can be easy to fall into negative, cynical thinking traps for not doing more or being further along your path. To be self critical or at it’s worse, punitive with yourself about it all. To label yourself as “lazy,” “untalented,” “unlucky” even.
Once you’ve identified your block, mind your reactions and initial judgments to your block. Often, the easy response is to feel upset about it and maybe even deny it or cast it away. When your nervous system’s initial response is to begin to make excuses or feel anger, there may be some resentment. Alternatively, when your nervous system’s initial response is riddled with fear, doubt, worry, and anxiety, it can be a helpful exercise to explore the root of what you are experiencing resistance towards.
These emotions that come up are meant to be explored and nourished. Emotions like shame, regret, grief, envy. We call these the exiled feelings who are typically not given a home with the space to breathe. When you make the space to reflect and hold these raw emotions with tender love and care, you are reconciling your past experience with your current reality and freeing yourself from past limitations for future liberation. Anything less is self-sabotage that often gets masked in procrastination. You know you can and yet you don’t; you don’t and feel like you can’t.
The key is to welcome and work with your blocks rather than shunning them and working around them.
#3. You just have to take the next step.
Go-getters, you are challenged to remember to think in bite sizes rather than chunks. In Reese’s Pieces rather than Reese’s butter cups. Meaning that done is better than perfect and process is progress. When you’re making the pie, you get the ingredients, you mix your batter to make your crust dough, cut fruits and make a delicious filling, and bake it all to an ooey-gooey and golden crisp creation. A creation that couldn’t have been made without taking that first step into the grocery store.
So often when we’ve got this huge assignment from the Father, it can feel impossible at first…like this insurmountable challenge. This is why taking the leap is the hardest part. You just have to say your next yes.
When you’re a child, you learn and explore so much of your skillsets, surroundings, manners, the list goes on suddenly and all at once. Children who first learn to ride a bicycle are given training wheels or a trike and eventually graduate into a full bicycle without all the attachments. It’s the lack of prior experience and first time jitters that makes moving with wheels sometimes frightening for little ones.
Sometimes as adults, the easy route can be setting really high expectations when really you need to tap back into that inner child and reenter the learning stage. Rather than pandering to the ego’s cry for self sufficiency, a smoother way to bake the pie or ride the bike is to use those jitters to surrender to the process. To follow each direction and step in the recipe and to put the dang training wheels on. Taking the first yes allows for more to come.
#4. Your desire matters more than discipline.
You know what you want and so how do you build it into a need? Because what you want to do will always get done. I’ve found that for go-getters, the issue is less about being able to get into the discipline that the overflow requires and more about the heart posture. Go-getters can see the opportunity with vivid clarity and once the wheels are turning, it’s free flowing. At reclaiming abundance, we encourage our go-getters to focus on their relationship with desire.
Persistence demonstrates commitment. BUT, if you’re doing something purely out of discipline, side missions that build an enjoyable journey can feel like a painstaking mission where you’re crawling from one strenuous finish line to another. With a good idea of your overflow and the blocks that surround it, it’s easier to move with grace when you’re living in your truth. You’ll know what you need to say “no” to in order to make space for your new “yes.”
When you operate from a place of desire, rather than necessity, you are moving from a place of joy, playfulness, and creativity that is inviting and welcoming. Doing something for the sake of doing it to be disciplined can be harbored and laced with bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, discontentment, impure intentions. One is filled with joy, while the other is filled with obligation. In creative projects, one takes a thoughtful and engaging approach and the other takes a formulaic, mechanical one. In relationships, one takes a compassion and intimate approach while the other takes a required, dutiful one. Whatever is in your heart is what flows out of you…and it all has a smell. That scent can either be a stench or it can be an aroma.
Here are 3E’s (ease, energy, and environment) for dipping your toes into the water and seeing if you are in a place to receive and make the next plunge.
Ease
What are the steps, processes, and resources you will need to make your yes a reality? You want to move in rhythm and flow rather than a hustle and bustle. One is rooted in abundance and the other is rooted in struggle.
Energy is balanced.
What are the emotions that arise and how do you feel? Energetically you want to feel more pulled than pushed. “Pulling” energy comes from a place of abundance. It’s coming from a place of aligned, life giving energy and largely driven by a momentum that is positive and favorable. On the other hand, “pushing” energy comes from a place of lack. It’s exerting effort and resources from a place of misalignment where your mind may be totally into it, but your body and soul may not be. You want to feel drawn, not forced!
Environment
What are the conditions and surroundings that will enable you to fully prioritize your yes?
Once you have your 3E framework down, it becomes easier to transform steps in your process from “I should have,” “I could have,” and “I would have” to “I can do it,” “I want to do it,” and “I will do it.”
#5. Playing and failing makes a runway for takeoff.
How can you be great if you aren’t giving yourself the room to create, experiment, and get curious?
You have to make space for the possibilities of what you could do beyond what you know + have experienced you can do. Expansion and creative growth comes from giving your essence – your mind, body, and soul – the space to experiment and try new things with enough room for failure.
When Thomas Edison made the light bulb, he shared with Forbes Magazine that him and his team failed thousands of times in the process. They were exerted and putting their best foot forward each and every time. By stretching their limits, we learned what they were capable of. Rather than seeing each “failed experiment” as a condemnation, they chose to view it as one step closer to being successful. A process that we’re all benefiting immensely from today.
Whether it’s cooking a nourishing meal for yourself or blasting through blocks in a game, giving yourself the space to play encourages creativity. When you play, to rest your mind, body, and spirit in such a way that you are free to imagine and create new possibilities. There has to be room for fun! Edison shows us that the process of falling can not only be fun, it can also be deeply rewarding.
True peace, abundance, and wellness is found in being able to find equanimity in both what you can and cannot hold with your own two hands. I’ve found that having faith and maintaining balance during peak seasons can be just as much of a mindset challenge as seasons of lack. If the enemy cannot break your spirit, one of his favorite tactics is to push you into overdrive, exhaustion, and ultimately burnout. If he can’t break you, he’ll work you into overdrive instead! I’ve found a big part of true faith is being able to maintain balance.
The freedom to decide is what maintains favorable outcomes because you have to actively choose His way above your own. And in letting go of some of your “yeses,” you allow yourself to be blessed and for all that surrounds you to start saying “yes” too.
That’s where the breakthrough comes from.
If you’re ready to get to blasting those blocks away, you can schedule a 1:1 consultation charge free of charge here.
Kim Yamasaki is a Christian wellness coach who supports her clients in cultivating space + stillness in the mind, body, and Spirit through collaborative processes of co-creation. She provides services that create space _ stillness for deeper connection: spiritual wellness coaching for burnout, home organizing, and yoga. Her methods are affirming, grounding, and nurturing – all interlaced with playful creativity. She is a native Angeleno with Japanese and Chinese roots.
This article was originally published for the “selah space” newsletter, reclaiming abundance’s care package for go-getters. “Selah space” offers content to support readers looking to break the cycle of burnout by living, loving, and learning deeply to be their most calm, confident, and complete selves. In the Bible, selah means “to pause or to reflect.” It appears most heavily in the Book of Psalms and Habakkuk as musical notations at the end of verses to draw attention back to what was previously expressed.
References:
Cameron, J., & Bryan, M. A. (1992). Week 9: Recovering a Sense of Compassion. In The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. G. P. Putnam’s Sons.
Transformation Church. (2022, February 7). The 3 Habits For Here // Here Is Holy (Part 3) // Michael Todd [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBvZas-FTPY
Wellman, J. (2022, March 15). 5 Ways You Might Be Blocking Your Own Blessings. Faith in the News. https://faithinthenews.com/5-ways-you-might-be-blocking-your-own-blessings/
McMenamin, C. (2022, February 11). 10 Reasons God Might Not Be Blessing Your Life. Crosswalk.com. https://www.crosswalk.com/slideshows/10-reasons-god-might-not-be-blessing-your-life.html
Are You Unknowingly Blocking God’s Daily Blessings?. (2018, January 01). The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/inspiration/are-you-unknowingly-blocking-gods-daily-blessings?lang=eng
McCain, B. (2020, August 5). 9 Blessing Blockers That May Prevent You From Getting Your Blessings. Club Fifty. https://theclubfifty.com/9-blessing-blockers-that-may-prevent-you-from-getting-your-blessings/