It’s not me, it’s You: hands that serve
For anyone caring for another:
Something we likely have in common is that we were likely expected to do something for someone else at a time we still really needed to learn healthy ways on how to give that care from another.
For as long as I could remember I have had an insatiable appetite for helping others. I was the kid that set tables at community gatherings, sold lemonade to fundraise for church, and stayed late at school to clean and work night shifts. There was nothing I couldn’t and wouldn’t do for a greater cause.
My passion for public service and social justice launched me into a career of politics. I became a nonprofit executive and quickly learned that deep and meaningful transformational work takes time, strategy, and a whole lot of resources. I was impatient for change and so I took on more. When I was told that not everything could be perfect, this only made me more hungry to do the impossible. Anything that would derail immediate needs for productivity was thrown on the back burner.
It took a lot of burnout cycles to commit moments of pause for Godly priorities to memory. His presence grounds, soothes, and purifies me. Reminding myself that if I truly seek to serve His plans above my own, I have to choose to start and end all my days with Him of my own free will. Being intentional and remembering that being in relationship with Him is not only pivotal, it’s paramount. I believe doing so is what keeps intentions for true, deep, and meaningful connection about the relationships themselves. It’s choosing my loved ones + recognizing that presence for the life moments (little and big and everything in between) is what forges powerful bonds.
Doing so has meant starting every day in worship. Doing so has led to taking a play straight out of the Chick-fil-A playbook to create our no Sunday work policy. Doing so has meant taking personal days to make time to play with the puppy, reunite with friends, and play with stickers with family.
Life happens and sometimes the best response in moments of trial and tribulation is to just let it. Anxiety feels like fear because it means there’s a lack of control rising up. To worry about it is to lose your focus. Jesus tells us that worrying is a waste of time because it’s expending energy over things that you cannot control and only He can.
I’ve found that caregivers and leaders are straddled with some of the most challenging decisions, calls, and responsibilities. With the right attitude, support, and preparation, blessings quickly multiply. It’s what leads to the Law of Explosive Growth as coined by John C. Maxwell. With an overextended plate and hastiness, what once seemed like a blessing turns to chaos. For those with caring + loving servant hearts, compassion can be a double edged sword leading to a road of bitterness. Working harder and longer is a fast track to burnout, deteriorating health, and loneliness.
In Ephesians 2:8-9, Apostle Paul writes, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”
The same passion, drive, and ambitions that drives and motivates the spirit of service is a quality to be tempered with balance. When work becomes the focus + priority, it becomes an idol (aka something you’re loving up on more than God). It also can be cause for hazy decisions + lack of clarity in direction. For our good intentioned caregivers, it’s important to remember when you are pushed beyond your limits. We need your continued service so that you can run the marathon, not the race! Not an easy feat for the inner child looking to “fix it” first.
You can get around the false promise of grind culture by inviting His space + stillness through surrender and meeting yourself with grace. Surrender is a requirement when you notice your agency + freedom depleting or when channels that were once open + unifying now feel closed + divisive. If you’re caught up in burnout, it’s supportive to remind yourself that everything that you are experiencing at this moment is building stronger fibers for His larger plans over your purpose.
In moments where you might be struggling with your capacity to fully surrender, you may be stuck in a trauma loop rooted in pride. Pride is ego taking the driver seat in your thoughts, words, and actions. You can experience + encounter ego over many different stages, situations, and experiences throughout your years.
Here’s how to recognize what ego’s false narratives:
Time says "This needs to happen FASTER."
Worthiness says "I am doing this all WRONG."
Fantasies say "IF I DID THIS, things would change."
Fear says "I'm too tired to even TRY."
Here’s how the Spirit counters + dispels those lies with new stories:
Time begins to say "It is all in God's timing."
Worthiness starts remembering "I am doing everything I humanly can."
Reality reminds “There is something I can learn from this experience."
Faith declares "I will take the first step and see what happens."
For anyone caring for another, for anyone responsible for another, and for anyone called into a position of leadership, I believe you were anointed by the hands of God to serve and let His will be done. To be able to spread the gospel and His word through the hands He has given you. To be a blessing to others in a way that words may not always be able to communicate. It’s a spirit of service that straightens out the intentions and posture of your heart. This focus keeps motives pure, intentional, and rooted in loving kindness when so much of our society is structured in a way that is designed to keep so many so small and pitted against one another.
This is the epitome of the Christian concept of submission.* To die to yourself and yoke more deeply to Him. Submission is an expression of devotion and recognition that there are powers greater than you. That you simply cannot and do not have to, nor should be expected to be Superwoman 100% of the time. This is the difference between being physically alive and spiritually dead v. living abundantly and spiritually woke. You can only hold what you can carry with your own two hands. He can do so much more. Having full faith asks us to remember that His plans for us are so much bigger than we could ever imagine and begin to fathom. Anything less than this recognition is rooted in ego + pride that eventually catches up to you. Moving with submission at the forefront makes for a spirit of service.
Whether you are an entrepreneur, pastor, programmer, health care provider, artist, you were called to touch and bless others in a very distinct and unique way. This is about walking fully in that calling and stepping fully into your purpose in a way that glorifies and uplifts Him. So often we’re asking for God to meet us where we’re at when we were designed to meet who He has called us to be. The first step is releasing control + inviting surrender.
If you’re ready to invite more space + stillness to surrender more deeply, you can schedule a 1:1 consultation charge free of charge here.
*Submission is a tricky concept to grapple with. Try untethering it from the icky trauma of oppression and it being misused for unGodly expression of self superiority + self glorification as a means to oppress women, work forces, and entire races of people altogether. I’ve found it helpful to instead cast a lens of Christ’s love over it in order to explore + live it more deeply.
Kim Yamasaki is a Christian wellness coach who supports her clients in cultivating space + stillness in the mind, body, and Spirit through collaborative processes of co-creation. She provides services that create space _ stillness for deeper connection: spiritual wellness coaching for burnout, home organizing, and yoga. Her methods are affirming, grounding, and nurturing – all interlaced with playful creativity. She is a native Angeleno with Japanese and Chinese roots.
This article was originally published for the “selah space” newsletter, reclaiming abundance’s care package for go-getters. “Selah space” offers content to support readers looking to break the cycle of burnout by living, loving, and learning deeply to be their most calm, confident, and complete selves. In the Bible, selah means “to pause or to reflect.” It appears most heavily in the Book of Psalms and Habakkuk as musical notations at the end of verses to draw attention back to what was previously expressed.
References:
Wong, H., & Caine, C. (2021). How (Not) to Save the World: The Truth About Revealing God’s Love to the People Right Next to You. Thomas Nelson.
The Father’s House OC. (2022, August 7). Breaking Down Psalm 23 // Bianca Olthoff // Songs of Summer. [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y4ROqP5Q_Q